Some things push you, some things you push through

July 6, 2017

I believe some aspects of my personality are genetic, I tend to have a laid back temperament like my dad, but I am also very aware that much of my personality was shaped by the experiences and people I have had in my life. Its interesting to me how two people can have seemingly the same experience, but can take very different things from it, and it can effect them completely differently.

 

I have learned both from doing it to others and having it done to me,  you should never assume how someone is feeling just because it is how you would feel in a given situation. I have things in my life that have made me view life a certain way, and I'm sure you do as well. 

 

I have had my many experiences and people throughout my life that I give credit to making me who I am right now and I am very grateful for all of them, however there are two, one person, one thing, besides God that I give the most credit to for making me, me. My twin brother Brett and my anxiety. 

 

I am going to go into more detail about both throughout my posts but simply put Brett is my pusher. He makes me want to be the best version of myself every minute of everyday, he makes me appreciate the little things that other people make take for granted, like putting your feet on the ground every morning. Everything I do is for him and every part of me that is good is because of him, it is because of him that I will never stop striving for better, not only for myself but for him as well. He is the person that pushes me. 

 

Now my anxiety is a completely different beast. Where I stand now I am proud to say that I don't suffer from it much at all anymore. I haven't had an anxiety attack in almost two years, but there was a time when it consumed me and if I would have let it, it could have controlled everything. It's the thing I learned how to push through, not without help of course. The aspects of my personality that make me anxiety prone are still very much in there and I still battle with them everyday, but I now know that living in constant fear of making a mistake or having a fear of making other people angry is no way to live your life. Because at that point you are so worried about everyone else around you and how you compare to them, that you are forgetting to live your life and follow your path. Which is something I refuse to let myself do anymore. 

Thank the people that push you, find the tools to work through the things that need to be pushed through. Everyone has them and everyone's are different and realize that both make you stronger and influence the person that you are. 

 

 

 

 

 

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