Never have I ever

I am 22 years-old and there are two questions I get ask constantly. Ironically these are the two questions I most hate being asked, one of them is "Why don't you drink?" The simple answers are I don't like the taste (I'm not sure people who do drink like the taste) or I don't want too. those are my normal responses. But if you ask me that question a part of me would love to spend the next hour giving you the real explanation.

A large part of the answer to this question has to do with the aspects of my personality that I have mentioned in my pervious posts. I have grown up around social drinkers, and I attended a major university So I have seen my fair share of tipsy or drunk people at a party, but nothing that most people probably haven't seen. it's not something I don't do because my family doesn't or because they do it too much, this is simply a result of my personality traits and a part of my personality that I am choosing not to change. It is one I am proud of.

My biggest fear when it comes to drinking is, what if someone needed me and I was unable to preform at my best. My parents work hard and they deserve to have a good time and so I always had to be 100% for my brothers needs and incase anything else were to happen. Even when I was away at school I was close enough to my family and also I had friends that would go out and I always want to be ready for anyone who may need me.

I also don't like the feeling out of control and as I mentioned before I hate relying on other people. Yes I have friends that I could go out with that I know would look out for me but I don't like having having to relay solely on someone else for my safety. Yes I am aware that one or even two drinks, especially if I am at home probably aren't really going to affect me, but even then I still wouldn't be 100% ready to go.

I do believe I need to learn to relax a little bit and I know that I don't have to be "on" all the time but drinking is not something that relaxes me in the slightest, actually it is something that can trigger my anxiety because the second I take a sip I think about all the "what ifs" I know that is no way to live life but it is not something I am really willing to change when it come to drinking.

Now, very recently I've been in a couple positions where I have had two drinks in one evening. This is a big deal for me because that is the most I have ever had and it is the most I will ever have. I was in a couple of situations where I felt comfortable, I didn't have to go anywhere and I knew I wouldn't be needed for anything. And although I now truthfully know that two normally portioned drinks will not hurt me, drinking still isn't something that I enjoy. However, I don't mind hanging out with people or dating someone that enjoys drinking socially or after a hard day it just isn't something that helps me unwind.

Although this choice I have made for myself can make certain social situations harder, it is not something I want to change about myself. This is the lifestyle I am choosing to live and whether you enjoy a few drinks durning a night out or not is completely up to you and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Oh, and I'd rather save the calories for dessert! ;)